Today in the "Faces of FAR" we are speaking with Victoria, who is a Ukrainian and Russian language associate in Varna.
Interview date: 31 July 2022.
Interviewer - Hanna Velikova
Hanna - Thank you so much for agreeing to be interviewed. I know it is very difficult to talk about the war after what you have been through. But let's try to go back to the happiest time for every person, which is their childhood. Tell me about your childhood.
Victoria - I was born and lived in Mariupol, a very beautiful city, even though it is considered an industrial one. When I was a child, I thought that if I have the sea, then everyone must have it too. When you are by the sea, it seems that all the problems, all the bad things are washed away, it gives you strength, and for every child the sea is also an opportunity to rest. From my childhood I have only the best memories about the city, my relatives, my mother, my grandmother, my father.
The school years were interesting: I was active, I studied well, I got a silver medal. I liked learning Ukrainian, even more than Russian, although I am a philologist in Russian language and literature, and modern Greek. Ukrainian literature and language were easier for me, I liked learning poems by heart and reciting them.
Hanna - Why did you choose the career of a Russian philologist?
Victoria - At that time, when I applied and was accepted at the Mariupol Institute of Humanities, it was a very new university, there were not so many majors. Humanities were related to pre-school education, philology. I told my relatives that we already had many doctors in our family, that medicine was not for me and that I would rather be a teacher than practice medicine. And I got into the Humanities Institute, major: "Language and Literature (Russian, Modern Greek)", qualification philologist, teacher.
After graduation, I worked as a teacher for a year, but I realized that this was a day-to-day, constant labor of dealing with children, and you must be born to be a teacher. The children feel your mood, they feel everything. You must be made to be a teacher. The children were upset when I left the school. Maybe we should be honest with ourselves: can we dedicate our whole lives to pedagogy? It seems to me that if one has doubts, it is better to leave.
Then I started working in advertising. In Mariupol there was a regional representation of the national 5th TV channel - we worked with advertisers; we made videos. Then we played them in the regional advertising blocks. When Retro FM radio station emerged, I combined TV and radio station sales.
Although I have a philological background, I am more of an advertising professional. That is, everything is learned through practice, learning built on human relationships when your clients are now not only advertisers within the industry, but people close to you who trust you. And you, along with each of them, try to solve problems, difficulties, enjoy promoting their goods and services and they in turn receive positive feedback from their customers. That's very important to me, as it probably is to every person who lives for their profession and doesn't just go to work for the sake of doing it.
Hanna - How did you get into where you worked before the war, radio?
Victoria - I've worked in TV and radio advertising for a long time. The crisis came, my previous workplace closed down and during this period I was selling advertising on websites and magazines to the city of Mariupol. After a while I saw that they were looking for a person to do advertising in Radio Europe Plus and that was decisive for me. The radio stations grew, in Mariupol we represented a media group of 6 radio stations, I worked at that place for 10 years, until February 24, 2022. Comparing TV, newspapers, websites, I understand that my love and my life is radio advertising. I'm an auditory person, and it's very interesting for me to do audio clips that you can't show, but only voice, so that your ad is accessible and understandable for everyone (because on TV you can do both showing and voicing). Working in a radio station is an everyday communication with people. Many of them are new and some are regular advertisers. In addition to advertising sales, I did promotions, arranged interviews with representatives of the theater, cinema, show business stars. The auto radio in Mariupol had its own license: we had content of our own programs, interviews with stars and so on. Many Ukrainian stars were guests on the station: Alexander Krivoshapko, Max Barskikh, Artem Pivovarov, Sergey Tanchinets "Bez Obmezhen" and many others - those who have now stayed in Ukraine and support our country. This additional communication with people helps you to develop, broadens your horizons and you want to keep doing things.
Hanna - What difficulties did you face in your job?
Victoria - I had no difficulties, I enjoyed everything. Because my work is my hobby. Rarely does that happen to a person. Most often work is for a salary, and one works because it is financially necessary, or it is a hobby that does not bring any income. For me, working in radio is my life.
Hanna - Do you remember the 24th of February?
Victoria - Yes, I remember.
Hanna - What was that like for you?
Victoria - I read information about the war on the Internet. My son's teacher told us not to go to the school, to stay at home and study remotely.
Hanna - What did you think then?
Victoria - My first thought was to call my mother as my husband and child were already with me. I told her "Mummy, pack your bags and come to us". She didn't believe all this at first, even though there was already a buzz in her area. I rang her several times and only on the third time did she agree. She has been living with us since the beginning of the war and now here in Bulgaria she is with me again.
Anna - On the 24th there was still nothing?
Victoria - No, in our area, on the first day there was no shelling. But in other areas of the city everything had already started. We received information about having to listen to the sirens. And already on the second or third day the shelling started. I reacted very sharply to them: I grabbed my child, hid him in the bathroom, we had prepared everything in advance - pillows, mattresses, so that we could wait for the shelling to cease there for some time. And my son always carried a glowing whistle in the pocket of his trousers, so that they could find him in case our block collapsed. A few days later, when the situation around us got worse, I also put a little slip of paper in his pocket with his last name, first name and blood type, as I now understand most mothers also did.
Hanna - You mentioned that you didn't want to leave your hometown until the last moment. How were those 22 days in military Mariupol?
Victoria - Those 22 days in Mariupol were very difficult. Difficult not in terms of the fact that there we had lost all communication in the first days, there was no heating, there was no electricity. Unfortunately, although people had money, you couldn't buy anything in the stores - they were all closed right on the first day. We didn't have enough food, enough medicine - and the pharmacies weren't working.
It was cold, cold is not even the right word. We slept in the apartment wearing fur coats, shoes, and gloves. There were extreme frosts and it snowed constantly. We cooked our food in the courtyard over a fire, under shelling: that is, if something flew over, you hid in the entrance. The produce we had left we shared with the elderly, the children, and the neighbors. My husband used to go to collect firewood, start it to cook some porridge, heat water for tea or just to drink something warm.
Hanna - And drinking water? Did you have it in town?
Victoria - At first it was very rarely available. There were huge queues, not enough for everybody. We used to get water from a spring if you can call it that. But drawing water from there was very risky because the shelling was constant.
Hanna - Was there a moment when you didn't have the strength anymore and you said to yourself, I can't, I've cracked.
Victoria - Cracked - no, there was no such thing. I was aware that if I broke - who would look after my child? I had to save him at all costs. As a woman, a mother, you are responsible for your child's life because you are no longer alone. Besides, I have an elderly mother who also needs my support. Unfortunately, it happened that her apartment in Mariupol completely burned down. My insistence that she come to our apartment saved her life.
Then we realized that we had to act, to make a decision about the future, to do all we could to save ourselves.
Hanna - Was it a difficult decision to leave your native Mariupol?
Victoria - When the shelling intensified and they started bombarding from the sky and from the sea, you realize that you can no longer save yourself. A lot of people hoped that this was all about to end, but it turned out that it wasn’t, and it would last a long time. We were heading nowhere, so to speak. When you come home, while sitting in the basement of a nine-story building, you begin to realize that the anticipation of death is harder than death itself. A fire broke out in the building, which neighbors, acquaintances, and strangers tried their best to put out, but there was no water, and the fourth through ninth floors burned. And that was not the only shell hit. At the end of March in our area there were fewer and fewer people and cars, only a yard full of pet dogs and cats, which had escaped or were abandoned. We tried to feed them until the very last moment. We made a decision to go into the great unknown.
Hanna - So you understand that you have to drop everything and go anywhere else?
Victoria - Yes, you have to save your life. And no psyche can endure in these conditions, it's very difficult. Our child used to take a candle, light it, slip under the covers and read books. There was no electric lighting and he had to do something to distract himself. We said, "Arthur, stop reading already!" But he kept reading. War is a terrible ordeal for a child's psyche, their childhood is stolen from them.
Hanna - Was it difficult to leave the city?
Victoria - We got in the car and drove into the unknown. We saw blockades, we drove past them for a long time. It took us two days to reach the territory controlled by Ukraine. I remember that the first day they didn't let us enter it and we spent the night sleeping on the floor of a church. Then shelling started on the roadblock we were next to. And I, as a mother saving her child, yelled to him, "Get down!" We crouched down and, thank God, it all went away. It's scary to be constantly stressed and expecting death. It is very scary. First, we got to Berdyansk, and then to Zaporozhye.
Hanna - So a journey that would have taken several hours dragged on for several days?
Victoria - Yes because we were not allowed to enter the territory of Ukraine. And we had to move in a line so that we wouldn't hit a mine and blow ourselves up. Each car is moving for a very long time and in a convoy, there can be 500 or more cars moving at the same time.
Also, going through the checkpoints was very slow. There people are checked, sometimes even stripped to check their tattoos, they watched everything.
Hanna - How did you feel when you were already in the Ukraine controlled territory?
Victoria - Joy! Joy and tears. When the child saw a Ukrainian billboard, he was so happy he clapped his hands. I also remember how for two days he held on to a white loaf of white bread and could not let it go.
Hanna - How did you get to Bulgaria, tell us about the Mariupol-Varna journey?
Victoria - First we went to Zaporozhye, but I was still afraid that I, and not just me, but my mother as well, my child might die. What we went through in Mariupol, what we saw, we felt upon ourselves, and what followed, what you've already seen ... you suppose it could happen to you anywhere: the same sirens, the same bombardments and shelling - they are, basically, all over Ukraine. I made a decision to move on. We lived a little in Zaporozhye, then a little in Dnieper. In Dnieper we would constantly heard sirens - it's very hard on the psyche: day and night, alert notifications at home. You take the child, run to hide him somewhere, and the neighbors, at the same time, do not react at all to these sirens. Then yet another bombardment in Odessa.
When I left Mariupol, I had an acute sense of guilt that I had to deal with somehow. I was asking myself, "Why was it that I managed to leave and save myself and the others didn't." I realised that wherever I was, in any event, I had to help people like me.
Hanna - Why Bulgaria?
Victoria - The fact is that 4 years earlier, we had already come to this country. But in a completely different situation. The proximity of the language, the culture and the safety of the child first. Any sensible parent will try every way to save their child: their psyche, health and most of all life.
Hanna - How did you encounter FAR?
Victoria - I really wanted to be helpful to people who really need it. I went to the refugee centre, read the ads. I asked those who work there where I could get information about jobs. They sent me to the Employment Centre. Next to me sat a representative from FAR, Desislava, with whom I now work together. She listened from the outside and said, 'I can see you want to help people. Write and send me your CV. Maybe you'll be lucky."
I wrote a CV, sent it in, they read it, scheduled an interview. It worked! They hired me! It was a miracle for me. It seems to me that if a person wants something badly, it will come true. And I really wanted to help people. Especially those who were in a difficult situation. I wanted to help my fellow countrymen, but not only. After all, at FAR we also work with refugees, with migrants from all over the world.
It makes no difference what nationality a person is: the difficulties and problems for everyone, it seems to me, are the same.
Hanna - What do you like most about working at FAR?
Victoria - What I like most is interacting with people. I like to be helpful to people, when they meet you, smile at you and say, "You helped us, thank you" or "Your team helped us, thank you" it makes it easier for you. Because when people in need feel more at ease and you feel more at ease, you get the strength to keep going, to keep developing. In the end, you can also choose this stance: sit back and hate everyone, saying war is bad. Or sit and suffer the whole time. But doing so will not help yourself nor others."
Hanna - How do you manage not to break? Where do you draw strength from?
Victoria - There is no other way, we have to keep going. We still have so much time to rebuild the future. After all, we are not starting from zero, but from below it. We all need strength to build the future, we will have it, we will be fine.
I rely a lot on psychology to point me in the right direction, and sometimes to save me. D. Carnegie has a good saying: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." And knowledge probably helps a lot to draw strength, inspiration to move forward and energize others with positivity, no matter how hard it is for you.
Hanna - You're in Varna now. How do you feel here?
Victoria - Varna and Mariupol are very similar. Probably all cities on sea and harbor are similar. What do I feel? Sometimes regret, other times encouragement. The sea calms down, washes away all the negatives and helps you endure everything. I really love nature, I just walk around the city, and enjoy it. Although sometimes I see happy families, people running, rushing to get home, and I..
It's very nice here: people help, support you. But still, no matter how good it is, home is better. Sooner or later, we will all return home and have a new, bright, peaceful future.
Hanna - Lastly, what would you like to share?
Victoria - A quote from Mark Twain - "A good way to cheer yourself up is to cheer someone else up". That's what I'm trying to do and be helpful to those who need help. After all, we Ukrainians all need strength for a renewed future in our country. We must try to bring yourselves closer to this future every day, those who stayed in Ukraine, those who were forced to go abroad, each of us can contribute with our hearts, our souls, our actions for the sake of the peaceful and happy life that lies ahead!
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